LPTrendsIdeas: When People Don’t Get Us.
Rejection. Dismissal. Abject denial. Fathers sometime don’t want their kids and they leave too early. Mothers sometimes don’t get their children, and they miss the most valuable aspects of their inner souls. Friends and co-workers often miss the most salient bits of substance in each other as they toddle to and fro from their daily grind, lost in the minutia of what’s not really even important. And all too often we are misunderstood by those we love the most, and by those from whom we seek acceptance from in deepest measure.
We would like to be islands, but we’re really not built that way. We need others to get us; we need to be affirmed.
And while attachment to the outcomes of other people’s behaviors is a kind of illness that has the capacity to shut down entire civilizations – (Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it did burn down pretty quickly at the tail end of a long fight between peoples who simply didn’t get each other) – it’s nearly impossible to detach ourselves from needing another’s acceptance.
The big idea of the week? It’s really a question, in honor of the Romney’s and Obama’s of the day and having to eat what we don’t “get”:
Who have you not gotten lately, someone who by your actions or inactions you have shut down, closed off, denied, or in some way dismissed that set another’s course in a terrible direction?
Knowing you cannot possibly be responsible for how another person sees themselves or whether or not you accept them, might the compassion to care enough to at least try and get each other serve you and the other to better ends? Effort at least says, you notice. And that’s something.
I don’t have to get you to love and respect you. I just have to be listening and paying attention, and want to try.
GIve us your best “I don’t get…..” story!